How to Make a Nation Think an Alien Invasion is Happening

The 1960′s were a truly great time in Britain. Musical and cultural revolutions were in progress. Acid was dilating pupils. Mud and patchouli were stinkin’ up hairy barefooted English hippies. It was a magical time. One morning, people in the hilariously named Isle of Sheppey area awoke to a situation that would blow any sober person’s mind to the point of total evacuation of the bowels…let alone what it could do to the minds of those who were tripping balls. In the sky they saw 6 beeping UFOs in a perfectly straight, kick-some-human-ass-invasion-line.

Residents in Southern England alerted the authorities of the RAF, who then proceeded to go all Independence Day on those ugly space-f**ks. That’s right, they got locked and loaded for a MOTHERF**KING SPACE WAR! At one point during the thick of the chaotic panic, a bomb disposal unit blew up one of the spaceships. Which is a great way to make a first impression to an intelligent being from across the cosmos with the technological ability of interstellar flight.

Britain’s National Archives recently released files on UFO and alien sightings dating all the way back to the 1950′s. The sighting that mobilized the British Ministry of Defense to react as if an actual alien invasion was taking place was covered in the documents. The large sighting that triggered the invasion alert was a prank by students of Farmborough Technical College, and since it was located in Britain..it most definitely was just like Hogwarts. They had created the crafts for a large charity benefit. Also covered were alien abduction stories and over 8,500 pages of juicy alien gossip. We at Fork Party do know one thing..if aliens do descend upon the Earth to incinerate us all with a fiery death-blast from the butthole of their spaceships…you do not want to be caught without bacon. Eating delicious bacon during this catastrophe is the only thing that could take the edge off.