What were you like when you were three years old? Specifically do you remember your diet at that age? Well no matter how fat you find yourself on this day, it is doubtful that you could’ve come close to that of the one and only Lu Hao. At this very tender age, Lu Hao is clockin’ in at a very jiggly 132lbs. Lu Hao busted onto the Earth scene at a weight of 5.7lbs, so somebody must have introduced him to doughnuts at a very early age. Now at the age of three he is one giant ass man-child. His parents state that polishing off 3 giant bowls of rice in one meal ain’t no thang for ole’ L.H. Here he shows us that he is rapidly outgrowing a tiny scooter.
Lu Hao is pretty cool. He’s into Superman and when a journalist asked if he would like to fly like Superman, this poor bastard giggles and says “No, I am too fat.” He already has a grasp of self-deprecating humor. Lu Hao’s parents say they have taken him to doctors, in fact two out of three of those doctors say he doesn’t have a tumor (seriously), which is pretty good in China. Doctors can’t attribute Lu’s rotund nature to anything specific. His parents in an effort to make him lose weight, put a basketball hoop up and take him swimming frequently. Lu’s parents also add that the exercise doesn’t really seem to help, it just makes him even hungrier. Here Lu Hao learns about buoyancy.
Lu Hao gets enraged when his parents try to limit his food, so they say it’s hard for them to really keep it under control. That’s kind of crazy, even though he probably has the brute strength of a polar bear… he’s still a three year old. You have to do as those TV nannies say, get down to his level. Look him in the eye and say “Lu Hao, you are hella fat and this needs to stop — from now on all we are stocking the shelves with are apples and men’s fitness magazines!” Then after that you smack that third bowl of rice from betwixt his fat little hands. Here Lu Hao completely dominates a chicken wing.
The lesson we can take away from this wonderful piece of weirdness is that if your kid is getting way too fat, you had better figure out a way to get it in check quick because when your kid outweighs you, your chances of having them kick your ass increases ten fold. Also, keeping a dog fed can get kinda pricey… so keeping a giant abusive human man-baby filled with expensive high fructose corn syrup products is gonna get old real fast.
[images via: Quirky China News/Rex Features]