No matter what your preconceptions of an anteater were prior to coming across this article, you probably didn’t expect it to have deep dark murderous rage dwelling within it’s belly did ya? Well one anteater at a Swedish zoo, grew tired of those cocky flamingos always standing on one leg and being pink. It’s enough to make an anteater sick. He apparently escaped his cage somehow and went all Iron Man on their flamingo asses.
Like a diabolical genius, this anteater pried apart the cage that separated it from the birds at the Parken Zoo in Sweden. After that, it probably had one of those long montages from movies where it is building it’s arsenal and stockpiling weapons. The camera starts to move up showing the anteater with it’s dual bandoleers filled with armor piercing bullets. It puts a knife into the holster on it’s anteater belt. Then, the moment of truth… it ties a bandanna around it’s head and says something like “Time to play.”
It’s not that the anteater is a hardcore badass in the world of nature or anything. Nope. It’s just the simple fact that flamingos are giant pu**ies. They apparently try some stupid battle move where they are standing on one leg. The anteater went in there and using only it’s brute anteater strength and sharp anteater claws it brought it’s quick and violent brand of pain to those poor flamingos.
The anteater was startled by the birds flapping their wings and making that weird flamingo noise at him. Anteaters don’t typically attack unless they feel threatened. These flamingos crossed the line and the anteater proceeded to demolish the flamingo ranks until 10 of the birds were slaughtered and broken. 5 additional flamingos lived to tell the other flamingos about the tragedy of that fateful day. When the bizarre scourge with a funny nose unleashed unspeakable horror upon their pink brethren. Now the brothers in pink understand that the anteater ain’t nothin’ to f*&k with.