Kidnapped Goat Forced Into Pub Crawl

You will have serious trouble finding a website that is more all about goats than Fork Party. We love goats. They are our sunshine. They are pure right. Goats are epic. Our goat friend Billy (seriously the goat’s name) found himself kidnapped by a couple of thugs lookin’ to tear up the town of Horley in England with a stolen goat.

What these morons didn’t count on was the goat’s ability to reinforce it’s right to call it a night and stop partying. The men took Billy to a bar called Forrester’s, where some party poopers threw out the duo and their goat. Billy was cool with it and accompanied the men several other places. They hit up Gatwick Arms, but were refused on the racist grounds that Gatwick Arms don’t take kindly to those of the goat race.

After this aweful act of bigotry displayed by Gatwick Arms, the boys decided to grab a bite to eat at Subway. They had no idea Subway were a bunch of goat haters to and were denied sweet $5 foot long action… or whatever they call it in England. By this point Billy is trying to politely let the guys know that he’s got a big goat day tomorrow and he should probably start thinkin’ bout heading home. His comrades shook it off and said let’s hit up one more place new goat-friend.

They entered a drinking establishment known as the Jack Fairman. The staff there started being unfriendly about the goat and in an act of revenge the boys let Billy loose. By this point, Billy had had enough of the anti-goat sentiments and was ready to bring down the pure fury of the goat-hammer. He started going nuts and didn’t stop until the cops took him outta there.

The goat’s owner who wants to remain anonymous says that “Billy is a playful goat, and never normally does things like that!” Billy will never forget that night. The night he partied right up to the edge. The edge that he and his goat friends have been defining since the dawn of goat-kind.

[Source: Thisissurreytoday.co.uk]