Police Terminate Emu with Great Prejudice

Those folks you see driving around with the lights atop their cars and the guns holstered securely next to their jiggly physique are the police. They are there to serve and protect the community at all costs. The life of a police officer is one that is filled with danger, adventure and failure. They do it all for the good of society. When a giant bipedal bird is posing a threat to that which they have sworn to protect… they do what is necessary.

Penn Township in PA is a wonderful place. The children of the town laugh and giggle. People are courteous and friendly to one another. Bread is broken and good times are shared in Penn Township. It is hard to believe that a dark time could befall such a flavorful slice of the American pie… but that is exactly what happened when an uninvited stranger started wreaking havoc on the town. A giant bird called an emu had been the subject of numerous sightings by townsfolk. It would run along side the road and do bizarre emu things in the night.

Police had warned the townsfolk to steer clear of the beast, but they didn’t heed the warnings of police Chief Larry Snavely. The parents in the town also failed to warn their offspring. At 6pm on a tuesday evening the unthinkable happened. The police, beaten down from the long hours caused by this loose bird, took a phone call from a concerned resident. The person told police they had spotted a group of children chasing the emu by a little league baseball field.

Police responded to the call like true heroes. They suited up and stocked up on ammunition, you know… in case things got out of hand. The officers of the law promptly arrived at the ball field. The emu looked to the sky, let out a mighty roar that shook the ground and began to do… absolutely nothing. The police quickly shot the emu until it died… showing the large bird community that Penn Township will not tolerate their lawless emu ways.

[Source: Lancaster Online]