Out of all the fears that you may have from all of the demented, sick and twisted things that riddle our lives with horror, creepiness and worry on this planet… one thing you probably weren’t sweatin’ was leprosy. You know. Leprosy is that biblical disease that causes entire chunks of your body to rot and fall off. It’s pretty messed up stuff. But certainly leprosy was off our radar. A breakout of leprosy recently happened in the southern U.S.- so leprosy is making a disgusting and terrifying comeback. And now we know the harbingers of this scourge disease right out of our nightmares-it was those damn armadillos!
DNA tests ran on the 9 banded armadillo show a match in the leprosy strain that affected a group of people in the southern U.S. While leprosy sounds like something that Stephen King would cook up if you gave him PCP-it is easily treated if action is taken promptly. The question that remains in this case is why have the armadillos started to wage biological warfare on the south-a place already stricken with chiggers, shingles and lockjaw?
We can’t say for sure. We do know that it probably wasn’t the barbecue down there-cuz we all know that those plump sweaty southerners excel in the area of bbq planning and execution. So what is it then? Are they upset about the economy? Armadillos are among the hardest hit in nature by this harsh job scene. It used to be easy for an armadillo to contribute to society as a waiter or tour guide. But with the restaurant and tourism effected by the recession, idle armadillo paws have become the Devil’s playground. They have infiltrated the south and who knows how long their siege will last?
This act of war by the armadillos makes it necessary to know our enemy. We know that they can roll up into a ball and become seemingly indestructible. We can guess that with this armor they might have a tiny soft vulnerable area on their bellies. If we can exploit this weakness, humanity may just have a shot.