Woman Forced To Put An Attacking Deer In A Headlock

It is our mission here at Fork Party to scour the waves of weirdness in the darkest corners of the internet and bring you the finest and most bedazzling jewels of horrid and hilarious. In doing this day in and day out, we sometimes come across headlines that are too amazing to even begin to wrap your mind around. Such was the day the editor of this little website came across a headline that brought the earth’s rotation to a screeching halt. The words in this order were “Woman Puts Attacking Deer In Sweaty Headlock.”

These words together were too much to ignore. Upon further investigation it turns out that this German woman was jogging and literally was attacked by a deer. The only way this woman could defend herself was by reaching deep down to her cave woman genes and remembering the trusty headlock. It’s hard to imagine what she could have done to enrage the deer so much that it decided to attack. But picture for a second how crazy these few magical seconds were.

She is  jogging… thinking something German. Out of nowhere a big ole’ 8 point buck comes outta nowhere. The woman is frightened at first, but quickly accepts the beast’s challenge of might. At first it seems as though the deer with it’s brute deer strength was getting the best of her… but just when she is losing hope Burgess Meredith appears in ghost form and says “You know what to do kid!”… except in German.

With her mentor’s words coursing through her veins she mustered up the strength to grab the creature by it’s antlers and start forcing it’s head into position to execute her maneuver. She contorts her body just right and slips the deer’s head at the crook of her elbow. The deer, shocked by this turn of events starts to realize it’s going to lose consciousness. It is reported that the deer broke free from the woman’s grasp and quickly split the scene. What’s even funnier is that “Officials were investigating” the cause of the deer’s attack and it’s whereabouts. That friends… is a motherforkin’ news story!

[Source: The Local]