Five First Date Ideas That Ensure Failure
Relationships are one of humans most basic fundamental needs, much like eating and peeing. Some people tend to clean up when it comes to the dating world, while the rest of us (well not me) take a back seat to the studs and take what scraps are left. You may think that you can get by just being you, but the fact of the matter is people make snap judgements, and if you don’t put on your feature reel and attempt to impress then your first date with this person will be your last and they will move on to somebody else who catches their attention and maintains it.
I’m not claiming to be the Dr.Phil of the dating world, but if you are really interested in a woman, and she agrees to go out with you, do me a favour and avoid the following first dates. You can thank me later.
Movies
Going to a movie is the one of the oldest most cliche first date ideas out there. First dates are about communicating and getting to know each other. Unless your idea of communicating is yawning while you pull off the old stretch and cuddle technique you are putting yourself at a disadvantage if you are taking this girl to a movie. There are a million date movie recommendations out there, and sure, once you get to know each other, you can use Serendipity to help you weasel your way into her pants… but your first date should focus on maximum communication.
Comedy Club
A lot of people are delusional that comedy clubs are somehow a good place to take your first date. Outside of being a poor place to communicate they open the door for all sorts of awkwardness. First of all, comedians draw a very fine line on what is considered politically correct; if you don’t know much about your date, you losing your lunch laughing over a racist joke could immediately put you in the dog house if your date is sensitive. Next (and this has personally happened to me), comedians love to call people out. A comedian making you look like a jack ass on your first date can be pretty embarrassing, you can let her in on the secret that you are a jack ass later on in your relationship.
Coffee Shop
While coffee shops are a great way to get to know somebody, they are probably better for blind dates, or potential dates that you may need a way to get out of quick. If you are looking to impress this girl, going to a coffee shop only shows that you are cheap and that she isn’t worth taking out for dinner.
Fast Food Joints
This should go without saying, but we all know there are idiots out there who just don’t get the dating scene. Just because you love the Wendy’s dollar menu doesn’t mean your date is going to want to hit the drive thru and enjoy a Bacon Jr Cheeseburger while listening to Barry Mantelow in your K-car. Even if you are going to pick up a desert after a nice night out, consider a little gelato shop instead of a McFlurry at McDonalds. The only way that fast food is ever acceptable is if a few drinks earlier in the night turn into a drunk fest and your potential future bride to be has an insatiable craving for a Quarter Pounder. Help her cure that craving, and maybe she will help you cure your cravings… wink wink.
Meeting Your Family
As much as you love your family and think the world of them, it doesn’t make it a good idea to introduce them to a girl on your first date. While most women find it flattering that you would want to introduce them to your family, most people prefer to get to know you before they see what kind of bat shit crazy family you have in store for them. I’m sure your inbred brother and obsessive compulsive mother are really nice people, but just like your major character flaws, you are going to want to keep them a secret until this woman is a little more emotionally invested in you.
