Every Death From The First Four ‘Final Destination’ Movies (Video)
What makes horror movies so scary? The blood, guts, and nutty, knife-wielding crazies? That’s a start, but that’s really just decoration. What truly makes horror movies frightening is that they can take elements from your life and show you how they can kill you.
Man’s best friend? Awesome! Dogs are fun and trainable and cute and cuddly and, if they go rabid with rabies, potentially homicidal. How can you keep your dog from getting rabies? Unless you watch it every minute of every day you can’t. So when Freckles comes back inside from making potty and starts chewing on your Southern Oracle at least the movie ‘Cujo’ tried to warn you.
Most every kid in America has been to an overnight camp. Always buried in the woods is some grouping of cabins by a lake where the youth come together to play games and activities, roast s’mores, and sneak over to the girls’ cabins ‘cuz Sissy Mae promised you a sneak peak of her goodies.
But those woods are full of darkness. Spaces in between where the mentally broken can sharpen their hunting and survival skills unbeknown to anyone. Especially to Billy and Sissy Mae. And just before Billy catches that sharpened stick through his heart from Crazy Carl you gotta hope he warned Sissy Mae not to trip while running away from the bad guy. But you know she still will.
The ‘Saw’ movies were different in that they placed the responsibility for each gruesome murder on that of the murdered (except in a few incidences that won’t be mentioned lest they ruin the movie for you so go see ‘em dummy). Jigsaw took people from all walks of life and put them in situations that pitted their weaknesses against them. Your worry here is that some judgmental a-hole is watching you and plotting a way to make you save yourself from your preferred vices. There’s plenty of ‘em around you already, but be sure to check for the ones with mechanical engineering degrees.
Oddly, no one has drowned in a vat of alcohol yet. Seemed like a n0-brainer…
‘Final Destination’ changed everything. Now, there was no crazy guy in your dreams, or in the night, or in the woods. There was no alien or beast or toxic waste-oid or animalistic abomination from some government-funded laboratory coming for you. No plague or disease or virus was liquefying your guts or turning into a mindless, brains-eating, aimlessly shuffling creature.
In ‘Final Destination,’ death itself was coming for you. Your only mistake was not dying when you were supposed to. For that transgression Death will make sure that the second time will be as gruesome and painful as possible.
The first ‘Final Destination’ movie was a who’s who of potential future Hollywood players. Devin Sawa had just been in that one Eminem music video. Ali Larter would later co-star in ‘Heroes’ and join the ‘Resident Evil’ franchise as the other knife/gun wielding hottie. Kerr Smith earned a role on ‘CSI: NY’ and later joined NCIS. Stiffler and the hottie from ‘Saving Silverman’ were in it too. They even had the Candyman guy in there!
Europeans treat violence on TV like we treat sex on television in that they prefer prOn to death and murder. Might explain why America has more gun deaths that any other country by a factor of five. Before you start drafting your letter to Congress begging them to loosen up their obscenity rules so you can see blonde hotties getting all inappropriate on camera, howsabout you celebrate a little good ‘ole American violence and check out every death in the first four ‘Final Destination’ movies, eh?