GUITAR FIGHT!

If you’re ever out driving around and see a discarded or stoop sale acoustic guitar, buy it. You must buy the guitar. Collect three or more of these guitars and prepare yourself for some painful, very wasteful fun: a guitar fight.

Guitars are fun to play and just as fun to smash. Most things are just as fun to smash as they are to use, come to think of it. That’s why there are entire businesses set up for your smashing pleasure — pay, smash, and leave. Just to clarify, the above link has nothing to do with prostitution.

While kids are dying of starvation and crafting toys they can never afford with their mangled, disfigured little hands, you can be gleefully bashing away at your friend’s helmet-covered head. If the two sound irrelevant, that’s probably because most companies don’t openly boast about capitalizing on the poor and destroying childhoods with their greedy, morally devoid manufacturing strategies. Isn’t the world funny?