Toilet Paper to be Monitored, Limited Per Child

Don’t think we live in a police state (world)? Now, schoolchildren in Catalonia are only allowed 25 metres of toilet paper per month at school.


It’s a fecal matter, and they’re shit outta luck. They got the shit end of the stick. It’s nothing to poo-poo at — it’s actually quite shitty. So are these jokes.

This news is pretty much the opposite: funny (in a sad, sad way) and not a joke at all! Authorities in Catalonia have instructed schools to begin making cutbacks on their toilet paper usage. “Excessive consumption” of toilet paper was to be eradicated with the idea that kids could be limited to 25 metres a month. Sick at school? Got your first period, or just a surprise one? Too bad, you literally shitty little kid! Wash it out with some water and get back to class.

Instead of focusing on sharing, providing the needy with necessities, societal progression and/or growth, exploring the world around us, or expanding our minds, modern societies put the emphasis on control and infringement. We argue about whether or not you can spank your own child, accuse little boys of sexual harassment when they begin sexual exploration instead of simply trying to explain things to them, and now this. Hello, 1984!

Luckily, people have been rampantly protesting against this and other ridiculous education budget cuts in Spain.