Employee of the Week: SVU FAIL Sloooooowly Arrests Pedo

I’m hesitant to post this because there’s zero comedic value whatsoever, but the story is so deranged that it’s compelled me to share it with the world.


It seems like an insult to award Mark Berndt with the sarcastic title of Employee of the Week, since his crimes are something of an other-worldly nightmare.

Berndt, an elementary school teacher, betrayed the trust of students and parents with his strange and disgusting acts of pedophilia. If blindfolding an entire classroom full of third-graders with duct tape over their mouths isn’t enough to make you vomit, then the fact that he lured large madagascar cockroaches onto their faces by using his own semen as ‘bait’ should do the trick.

The investigation into Berndt’s sordid life happened when a film processor turned over some suspicious photographs to police — namely the ones of the classroom, which depicted no sexual activity but were clearly sexually implicit and very, very wrong. For some reason, the SVU (special victims unit) of Los Angeles took their sweet time investigating this issue — allowing Berndt (who was fired) to live peacefully for about a year.

Overall, about 400 pictures were recovered and almost 30 victims have been counted, about 23 of which have been identified. Another strange aspect of the case is that before the pictures lead to Berndt’s arrest, no victims had come forward to tell of his crimes. If they had, the man probably would have been caught much sooner.