Do you have any cats? Here, have some more.
I have three cats. Ted, Magical Fantasy, and Catty. Catty rules the house and will smack a bitch if they get too close to her while she’s eating. Magical Fantasy is a notorious bird-hating criminal in the neighborhood, and despite my efforts to thwart his evil plans, he’s slaughtered many a feathered friend. Cats will be cats. Ted’s just a fat, lazy POS who can be found as a sleeping lump on the church pew I got from the garbage.