Five Artists that May Have Actually Been Con Artists
Art is one of the most subjective things out there, and one man’s masterpiece is another man’s pornography conviction (the judge totally had it in for me from the beginning, I am sure to win on the appeal).
For some, art is all about truth and beauty; the marriage of form and inspiration. For others, it seems to be more that they figured out how to take free stuff and convince other people it’s got tremendous value. Artists or con artists? It’s up to you to decide.
Marc Quinn
Mark’s freaky creations include his signature piece, aptly named Self. That’s a damn good name for it, because that’s all its made of — bits of Mark Quinn made into the shape of, you guessed it, Mark Quinn. This crazy man started draining his own blood over a period of five months until he had 10 pints of the stuff, and quite possibly a serious case of anemia to boot. He then turned all that blood into Dracula’s perfect treat by freezing it and creating a sculpture of his head. This plasma Popsicle sold in 2005 for over 2 million dollars US. That’s 2 million dollars for freezing your own body fluids and making it look like you. Beats the hell out of selling it by the pint every time you need more beer.
Not content with this, Marc went on to create another frozen nightmare sculpture called Sky, this time out of his son’s umbilical cord and placenta. Nothing says “daddy loves you†like squishing your biological gift wrapping into a likeness of your face as a newborn infant.
Still, he may have redeemed himself when he created Sphinx — a life-size, nude sculpture of model Kate Moss, depicted with her ankles around her ears.
Helen Chadwick
Chadwick’s claim to fame was the exploration of sexuality and the human body, which sounds an awful lot like exploring the mind of every teenage boy on the planet. Her definition of sexuality might differ slightly from yours though, unless you’re the sort who enjoys golden showers. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Chadwick’s most famous creations are Piss Flowers, art works she created while she and her husband urinated into snow banks and then made brass castings of the bits that melted away. She called this an erotic work created via a sensual bodily collaboration. Some would call it pissing outdoors while risking frostbite.
Jana Sterbak
In case you were worried this whole thing was going to be a list of bodily fluids in art, fear not! Jana Sterbak’s preferred artistic medium happens to be cured flank steak. No, she’s not a chef, and she’s definitely not at all familiar with how a barbecue works.
Experts claim her works deal with issues of control, power and sexuality. Having reviewed her idea of artistic expression, we’re pretty sure Jana’s a psycho who will one day be found tossing hand lotion to plus sized girls living in a pit in her basement while muttering about soft skin and getting out the hose again.
Jana’s made a number of these meat based commentaries on modern day life, including Flesh Dress for an Albino Anorectic, which is basically 60 lbs of raw steak stitched together and then salt cured and allowed to air dry. Its processing is all part of the statement, as is the cloying stench of rotting meat that has to fill the air as it hangs on a mannequin over the course of the exhibition.
Her other work in steak is Chair Apollinaire, a steak upholstered chair where the fabric rots and shrivels much like a pork rind eating slob ensconced in the the La-Z-Boy in front of his TV.
Jordan McKenzie
You knew it had to be on this list somewhere. Jordan McKenzie’s collection of 57 framed items make up an exhibition appropriately named “Spentâ€. Described as an “acknowledgment of human futility in the face of time as well as a violent record of male sexual drive†these are quite simply results of the artist sitting in a corner whacking off. Having artfully aimed his joy juice so that it splatters onto a blank piece of paper, he then lovingly covers it with a layer of carbon dust.
When dry, the excess dust is removed and the results framed and hung for the admiration of an adoring audience. Oh yeah, and he records the date and time on the back, making it even more like every sticky copy of Playboy you have under your mattress right now.
H.A Shult
Some artists resent their work being referred to as garbage. In the case of H.A Shult, that’s a fair assessment. Why? Because that’s all it is. Trash. The man found a way to convince people that figures made out of their own garbage were both artistic and valuable, and Trash People has traveled the world as an exhibit since 1996.
In the artist’s own words, “We are living in a time of garbage… I created a thousand sculptures of garbage.†Well that’s honest at least. “They are a mirror of ourselves.†Wait, what? Speak for yourself there, buddy. You may be mirrored by a bunch of garbage, but most people’s hips aren’t that lumpy, and spinal column aren’t typically a collection of discarded Crystal Pepsi cans.
He’s gotten to set up his army of refuse in locations like Rome, Egypt and Antarctica, getting paid to travel the world to show off a bunch of junk duct taped into the shape of people. I think we have a winner.
no keith boadwee?
Art is what you can get away with.
These con artists are really not that interesting but it's the buyers I would like to hear about.
In as much as they must be wealthy morons their story would make a great read.
It would be great to be invited into their homes to view their collections and have them describe them.
By the way, its been done before, years ago in New York there was an "artist" who worked in human dung and another one who took pictures of cigarette butts in the gutter.
There were many more, they never seemed to hit the big time.
Who cares how much this work sold for. It's interesting and makes a point. Its shallow and ignorant to dismiss it.
All of these seem very well executed, especially the army made out of the discarded product and waste we use everyday. Do objects not define you? Do your clothes, your food and consumables of your lifestyle not define you?
Does stone define you better? Does sand or mud?
These people are simply using unique processes to question and create. They don't ask for your approval, it is simply an expression of what they think and feel.
How silly to say that their work, (and all of the art mentioned here is truly labor intensive)is meant to trick anyone.
Are you blind? That statue of Kate Moss is most definitely not nude. It's clearly wearing a tank top/sports bra and underwear.
Of all the awful lists ever compiled on the internet, you mam have managed to create the absolute worst. congratulations you win blogging.
The worst part is that some fool buys this crap.
the last one actually has a cool meaning that "troops are disposable"
I wanna make a statue out of my bodily fluids