A Weird Guy At My Stoop Sale and His Prophetic Song About Flea Markets (Video)
I tried to peddle my wares on Sunday, hoping to clean out my hoarder’s nest of miscellaneous cables, vintage glassware, and salvaged furniture that I’d never use. It was blocking out the sunlight, taking up an entire room. I couldn’t even see the windows. A strange older gentleman stopped by and told us he was a comedian. He didn’t buy anything, but one of his songs turned out to be prophetic.
Not my sale. My stuff was way better than this pile of shit.
It was a really slow day. One guy stopped by and didn’t buy anything, but gave me something much better than money: the name of his YouTube channel. I found a song about flea markets and played it on the stoop.
Just moments later, a weird Russian guy lumbered over to have the following conversation with me:
Do you have any old Gotham jewelry?
No, I don’t have any jewelry.
You have Gotham jewelry?
No, I don’t have any jewelry.
Maybe you have, inside, jewelry?
No.
You have old pieces of broken gold jewelry?
No.
It was just like the song said, in all its creepy autotuned glory:
I’ve got records, I’ve got books, I’ve got bric-a-brac
But the customers — they want gold
They all ask for gold. They ask for silver.
They keep asking me JOEL DID YOU BRING THE GOLD
DO YOU HAVE ANY GOLD? ILL PAY YOU FOR GOLD. JOEL WE WANT GOLD.
Here’s his Breaking Bad spoof:
