11 Terrible Hangover Cures (That People Actually Try)
So you’re feeling the pain from a night of high adventure and possible alcohol poisoning. Your headache is epic, your tongue feels like its been having sex with a caterpillar’s corpse, and your nausea gets worse every time you try to draw breath through the toxic waste dump that is your mouth. Here’s a list of hangover cures that might just cure you, if they don’t kill you in the process.
Jack Rabbit Tea
If your hangover is so bad rabbit shit tea looks good, we suggest you stop drinking so damn much.
The Wild West, where men were men, cattle stampedes were common and apparently rabbit crap was medicinal. After a hard night’s cowboying and yippy-kayaying the men of this era crawled out of their bedrolls and downed a hellacious brew of hot water and jack rabbit dung. Not only would this put hair on your chest and a chime in your spurs, but it was reportedly a fast way to cure a hangover. Given that medicine at this time included such cures as blood letting and cauterizing wounds with red hot bits of metal, we’re not going to recommend this one. At least not unless you’re looking for YouTube infamy as the guy in “2 bunnies, one tea cup.â€
Pickle Brine
Prepare to pucker (and then possibly gag, puke and beg for mercy).
This remedy will certainly cut through that nasty funk coating your throat, and if you can keep it down the liquids and electrolytes aren’t going to do you any harm, which makes it an improvement over some of the other cures on this list.
This cure has a number of variations, from dill pickle juice to downing a shot of sauerkraut brine straight up. Some recommend mixing it with tomato juice, which we figure will at least add a nice hint of color to your puke when this mess comes right back up again.
Pickled Sheep Eyes
Ewe have got to be joking, that’s the cure?
If you’re idea of party town happens to be Outer Mongolia, then you’ve probably already experienced this horrific cure all. The only hangover cure that comes with its own set of bloodshot eyes, this one is a simple combination of tomato juice and pickled sheep eyes.
Frankly we suspect that one look at this remedy causes most folks to claim they have made a full recovery rather than touch the stuff.
The “Prairie Oysterâ€
Dr Seuss had Green Eggs and ham. This is more like Raw eggs and slime
This vile concoction with the innocent name is only for those with a cast iron stomach or a total lack of gag reflex. Once you’ve staggered to the kitchen, just crack an egg into a glass and top it off with a dash of Worcestershire or Tabasco sauce. The rest of the cure involves downing the stomach churning shot in one go, making sure you don’t break the yolk on the way down. Is that your gut roiling in protest at the very idea? Yeah, ours too.
Most of the recipes we found suggest a pinch of salt or pepper for “flavorâ€. Seriously? There is not enough salt in the world that is going to make that go down easy.
The “Red Eyeâ€
This has to be the Marquis de Sade’s favourite cocktail
For those among you who like to combine your cures, there’s the Red Eye cocktail. Take two parts Hair of the Dog, one part of that amazing cure all tomato juice and stuff it into a glass, then top with a raw egg. (Have these people never heard of salmonella?) Drop this remedy down the hatch and pray the end comes quickly.
The actual recipe is:
- 12 oz beer
- 4 oz tomato juice or V8
- 1 egg
- 1 oz. vodka
LOL, thats downright scary stuff dude. Wow.
To actually recuperate, I recommend a variation on a shake I use after heavy weightlifting: 1/2 scoop dextrose(corn sugar), 1 scoops Protein powder, milk and some yogurt and fruit. Use the scooper from the protein powder drum. This will fill you up fast.
Your body absorbs liquids faster, so it'll help get it in yah.
That and gatorade. Or just keep drinking beer in the morning, like I used to, but you may become an alcoholic like me, haha, and if that happens, join AA!
Just a FYI, a "Prairie Oyster" is another name for Bull's testicles. A "delicacy" in the prairies (Alberta)
I don't think you know what "penultimate" actually means, do you?
Weed and water helps a lot with hangovers
Menudo is the best Hangover Remedy with alot of Lemon crushed red pepper and Tapatio… dont knock it…. and sweat it all out with the hot broth and the hot chili you are eating.
Works like a charm
Aspirin and Gatorade does the trick. And don't forget to eat before you drink.
@eric don't harsh on them too hard about Penultimate, they're clearly hung over themselves.
Agreed with Eric with the incorrect use of "penultimate". Also, have successfully used at least 4 of these. I don't believe the writer really knows much about drinking.
I'm drunk right now, and reading this article pissed me off.
You manage to come across as an ignorant American who simply cannot handle the idea of eating anything other than hamburgers. Have you even ever tried tripe soup or pickled herring? These are dishes enjoyed by many people around the world. And yet, here in America, you cannot fathom the idea that someone ingests something that isn't McDonald's. You disgust me.
what do you mean by your tongue feels like its been having sex with a caterpillars corpse