Five Movies Their Famous Directors Would Rather Forget

2. “Grand Theft Auto”

Simmer down people. There’s not an epic based on Niko Bellic’s story in the works.  No, sadly, we’re talking about a lighthearted comedy written, directed, and starring Ron Howard.

Well before he was making movies about crazy mathematicians or adapting godawful books into godawful movies, Howard, who disturbingly hasn’t aged beyond going bald, was actually a celebrity and a movie starring him was worth a lot of money.  Realizing presciently that nobody from Happy Days was going to have much of a career in front of the camera, Howard arranged to write, direct and produce a movie that, twenty years later, would take on a whole new meaning and disappoint pretty much everybody.

The movie was a huge hit, paving the way for Howard to put Dr. Seuss through a meat grinder.  At least the dude has Apollo 13 to his credit.

1. “Fear and Desire”

If there’s one director who epitomizes the control-freak, megaphone-and-funny-pants stereotype of the director, it’s Stanley Kubrick.  OK so we haven’t been able to find any pictures of Kubrick in funny pants (just a huge beard), but he was a control freak of the first order, and that extends to his first movie.

The reason you’ve never heard of Fear and Desire is because Kubrick pretty much spent all the time he wasn’t reducing actors to tears and giving Warner Brothers execs ulcers the size of Manhattan trying to find and destroy every last print of the movie. In fact Kubrick exerted so much control that even though it’s in the public domain and would make a fortune off of film nerds, there’s not a single official release of the movie.

What makes Fear and Desire pull number one on this list is that only Kubrick actually thinks it’s embarrassing. He got taken out for drinks by James Agee, which is a bit like Roger Ebert calling you up today and taking you out for shots.  He got a glowing review in The New York Times. He got praised by respected film professor Mark Van Doren.  In short, Kubrick shot the moon with his first movie and apparently hated the crap out of it.

See?  Control freak.