Didn’t get a costume because you’re a broke failure or were too busy trying not to die after underestimating hurricane Sandy? Here are five costumes you can throw together within minutes.
Monsanto. What you’ll need:
- A printed contract giving you the right to cease and control all alcoholic beverages.
- A wad of money to punch people in the face with when they protest your thievery.
Abortion Fairy. You’ll need:
- Three wire coathangers. Tape two to your back so that the hang-y parts are facing outwards, thus creating wings. Sort of. Straighten the other one out and carry it around like a wand.
Reptilian Superrace Truther. What you’ll need:
- Just corner everyone you meet, rambling about how Reptile-Bama was bred from Bush’s stem cells in a secret chamber within the moon, until it gets so uncomfortable that you have to be physically removed from the party.