George Lucas: to some he is a genius, to others, he was a genius… who quickly ruined everything our childhoods were designed around. So, needless to say we have a few bones to pick with Mr. Lucas.
BEHOLD: 12 Questions nobody has the balls to ask George Lucas
12. Why does a brilliant and promiscuous college professor/archaeologist not use contraception, resulting in bastard LeBeouf’s?
Indiana Jones wasn’t above makin’ the beast with two backs in mid adventure. He landed mad snooch. Indy, couldn’t you have at least tried to pull out to prevent the conception of Shia’s awful character in that final flick?
11. Were you on a tribal hallucinogen administered by a shaman during the entire planning and execution of Howard The Duck?
Anybody who happened upon Howard the Duck in comic book form understands that it is an inherently weird story. How is it that the movie ended up being too weird. How did you f*ck that one up?
10. Where does your chin end and your neck begin?
Not that we here at Fork Party are anatomy experts or anything… but seriously something is wrong with your neck region.
9. What the f—k happened to Short Round? Both the character and the actor you skin draped bantha fodder! Seriously though, what did you do with him?
He was one of the most beloved child actors of the 80′s, so cut the shit George… where is he?
8. Is Spielberg you, just not in Sith form?
Just like Chancellor Palpatine becomes the twisted and scarred emperor… we have a hunch that the same damn thing is goin’ on with you and Spielberg!
7. What happened regarding the clean up of the big fella that Indiana Jones fed to that propeller?
It definitely looked like it left a serious mess.
6. Is there a lost Jabba and Leia sex tape?
There has to be some grainy night-vision video where Jabba is showin’ Leia how his entire body can be used as a giant phallus.