The popular press calls it Pseudocide, the cops call it fraud, and friends & family call it things we canâ€™t print here.Â Despite the downside to being legally dead, there are always a few folks who try to use death as a way to escape their lives and responsibilities.
Alan Kirk Wolford
Wolford was a funeral home director, possibly the best gig in the world for someone looking to fake their demise and start over again. Facing a staggering $42000 in unpaid child support payments and $7000 in student loans, he decided that the only way to live the life he wanted was to pull the plug on the one he was currently living. He forged his own death certificate, selecting to end his life by cardiac arrest on January 16, 2006. He even thought to have his body cremated, ensuring thereâ€™d be no empty casket to be dug up.Â What he didnâ€™t factor for was the sharp eyes of local government workers, who spotted the forgery and reported the fraud.
Since Alan hadnâ€™t actually left the area or even gone into hiding; tracking him down wasnâ€™t difficult. Authorities quickly arrested him, killing his plans to buy a house with his newly cleared credit rating. “I didn’t think I’d get caught,” he told Colorado Springs police, “I guess it was pretty stupid.” Alan wasnâ€™t done with disappearing acts though; he skipped the country, missed his court dates and was last spotted in New Zealand, applying to be a funeral director.