Russian Cyborg Super Soldier Dog – God Help Us (Picture)

This apparently comes out of some kind of book. We have no way of telling whether it’s a work of fiction… or if it’s an actual covert Russian plot to devise a weapon of destruction that will unleash hell for a “Beggin’ Strip.” The plan was obviously stopped after scientific testing revealed that it was much harder to get a cyborg super soldier dog to go into his cage… or not pee on anything he wants to pee on.

The Joker Unleashes Chaos at Subway (Video)

The Joker is one of, if not THE most devastating opponent Batman has ever faced. He’s diabolical. He’s ruthless. And he strikes without warning in unpredictable ways. We’re talkin’ like really unpredictable. In fact, his latest plot unfolded at a local Gotham Subway.

The Joker decided to make it rain cash inside the restaurant and in doing so caused a little mini riot. Not even a 5 Dollar Footlong can soothe the pain of seeing the Joker’s evil in action. Okay, you’re right… yes it can… especially if it’s toasted.

Perfect Morning Workout Routine (Video)

This guy knows how to get a day started properly. In his best bikini briefs, he demonstrates an athletic ability far beyond what most of us are capable of. He moves like a cat or a mongoose. This exercise burns thousands of calories, which is obviously the reason his physique is so stellar. Teach us your ways crazy guy, help us to understand your genius.

Pants For The Woman Who Needs A Little Extra Room Downstairs (Picture)

These pants are called Harem pants. They really bring out the beauty of the female form. Imagine… this sexy morsel is just struttin’ down the street wearing these bad boys. Her crotch region just bouncing in the sunlight. It is definitely pretty off-putting so… there isn’t much more we can say here other than… huh- somehow we are still turned on. Like, really turned on. We have a giant crotched woman fetish.

Sexy Without Depth Perception – Hot Chicks With Eye Patches (Gallery)

Whether it’s a meltdown apocalypse scenario or just some swashbuckling on the high seas, eye patches make quite a statement. So, we figured we would throw a bunch of pics of hot chicks in eye patches together for ya. Enjoy!

Behold! The Fine Art of Crotch Walking (Video)

Not enough can be said about just how much Japan has contributed to the online world. If you happen to see a video that really shakes your faith in humanity… it’s probably from Japan. They are great at producing mass amounts of WTF. This video is no different. A producer, director, camera crew and all kinds of other folks actually got a paycheck to help broadcast this–the fine art of crotch walking. Where would we (as a planet) be without embracing this as a pass time.

The Lamp That Let’s People Know They Are Welcome (Picture)

Choosing a lamp is a big decision we will all have to make someday. It’s not one you should take lightly. Get it… LIGHTLY! Yeah, so if you are a man… you’re gonna want a manly lamp. It should be a lamp that let’s people know that you aren’t the guy to f**k with. Well, this is the manliest lamp of all time. If Scarface was a lamp… Tony would be this one.

Hot Basketball Wives – Sexy Women Who Marry The NBA (Gallery)

VH1 debuted their show “Basketball Wives” in April and it has given us a glimpse into the lives of those women who decide to walk down the aisle with a man who is almost 9 feet tall. This gallery consists of some of the hottest women to ever marry into the NBA.

Dog Thinks Air is Water, Tries To Swim (Video)

We knew we had it all over dogs when it came to understanding our world. Dogs are definitely smart, but science was never their strength. This dog has yet to figure out and pinpoint the difference between air and water. Watch as this dumb beast tries to swim through the air. He doesn’t know that it isn’t water… hilarious!

Sexy Acts of Patriotism – Hot Chicks Sporting The American Flag… Sexily

Well Memorial Day weekend is finally here. We get an extra day off. We shall fill our bellies with burgers and beer. It will probably be warm which means the girls will be wearing less. These women are true patriots. Fork Party wishes you a great holiday weekend.