No one wants to be any of the people in these videos. Young kids will instantly be scared away from hard drugs like meth and crack just from watching these demonic addicts under the influence. There’s really nothing less cool than being a 50 year-old mom running naked and screaming after cars while getting beat up by your own elephant ear tits.

Gnargoyle.

If you didn’t think bath salts were a f*cking stupid idea before, this will definitely put you over the edge.

This is what happens when you accidentally squeeze the acid-dropper too hard.

Rack ‘em Willie will make you laugh, but you’ll never want to be like him. I hope you’re doing okay out there, Willie!

Another funny and entertaining guy, but the sad reality is that he lives under a bridge by himself in all types of weather.

Things in America are going OK. Obama AKA the Anti-Christ is still trying to harvest white people bodies for the reptilian alien race he is secretly a part of, but mommy says it won’t be long before Jesus swoops down with his giant vacuum cleaner and sucks us all into Heaven where we belong. C u soon, either back in America or once we get to the pearly gates!

Have fun at war! Kill lots of terrorists and don’t forget to praise Jesus when you’re done ;]

PS I drew you a gun LOL hope u like it! xo

Berndt, an elementary school teacher, betrayed the trust of students and parents with his strange and disgusting acts of pedophilia. If blindfolding an entire classroom full of third-graders with duct tape over their mouths isn’t enough to make you vomit, then the fact that he lured large madagascar cockroaches onto their faces by using his own semen as ‘bait’ should do the trick.

The investigation into Berndt’s sordid life happened when a film processor turned over some suspicious photographs to police — namely the ones of the classroom, which depicted no sexual activity but were clearly sexually implicit and very, very wrong. For some reason, the SVU (special victims unit) of Los Angeles took their sweet time investigating this issue — allowing Berndt (who was fired) to live peacefully for about a year.

Overall, about 400 pictures were recovered and almost 30 victims have been counted, about 23 of which have been identified. Another strange aspect of the case is that before the pictures lead to Berndt’s arrest, no victims had come forward to tell of his crimes. If they had, the man probably would have been caught much sooner.

Their company motto is “We Are Family,” which only helps to make them sound like some creepy Texas Chainsaw Massacre type business is going on over there. There are really no other interesting details in this case, only the disturbing imaginings of a Satanic river.

What other gems are in the bible? Elisha called upon God to smite his taunters, who were immediately mauled by two giant bears. Moses was actually a murderer as well. And by ‘actually’ I mean ‘according to the dude who wrote or modified the bible’.

The most important issue here is whether or not this magazine is paying for your divorce stories. If you’ve already forsaken your vows and gone against the will of Almighty Jesus Christmas by getting a divorce, you may want to capitalize on that however you can. We’re all Kim Kardashian here.

Crazy NASA vaginas are nothing new: in 2007, NASA employee Lisa Nowak drove 900 miles to harass Colleen Shipman, a woman dating another male astronaut. She brought disguises, an array of weapons, plastic gloves and bags, and other various murder assistants. Nowak botched her operation, however, by freaking out too early and alarming Shipman, who alerted police immediately.

Many people already follow these steps, you just don’t know it.

Lots of Facebook Posts

Make sure you are as loud as possible about ‘supporting’ whatever cause you’ve chosen to stand behind. Often link to articles, pictures, or videos supporting your argument. Try not to exceed one post a day, however, lest you annoy your friends a little too much and are placed on ignore. If you’re getting awkwardly tense about the idea of spending money, don’t worry! You can pretend to care without spending anything. Most of the ’causes’ on Facebook can be joined for free, and make you look like you care about something that, in all honesty, made you feel guilty enough to do a little clicking before wandering off to some other end of the web.

Facebook Comments

Don’t limit yourself to posts, here. You can increase your annoying level by commenting on your friends’ photos in a somewhat preachy manner, but posting on brand pages will avoid getting yourself deleted while allowing you to maintain a solid level of facetious concern. Click on over to Nike and tell them and everyone else on the brand page that their products are made by slaves. Mosey on over to the McDonald’s Facebook page and start relentlessly mentioning their love for animal abuse and borderline toxic food ingredients. Your comments will most likely be deleted, but those who see them will think you really give a crap about whatever it is you’re talking about.

Photograph Yourself Fakely Volunteering

This is a good one, but takes slightly more effort. It’s easiest if you schedule your photoshoot around events you’re already planning, such as brunch or a trip to the park. For example, let’s say you’ve decided to feign interest in animal rights. The weekends are ripe with animal adoption events, so find the one closest to you and make a quick stop on your way to Sunday golf. Have a friend photograph you with one or more of the animals. Then, you can say you volunteered without actually having to dedicate more time/energy than it takes to upload and tag a few pictures.

There you have it. Three simple steps to convincing people that you’re not a totally self-serving douchebag while gleefully continuing to be a totally self-serving douchebag. If you feel like something is wrong here and are considering ‘making a difference’, you should probably get off Facebook first. Then, you can actually do stuff.

While there are plenty of kind, compassionate Christians in the world, it’s interesting to note the similarities between modern Christian attitudes and the American stereotype of Muslims. People who:

- Are bloodthirsty in the name of a higher power
- Reject others and their ‘deviant’ beliefs
- Impose their beliefs on others using violence

Is this the description of what Fox-loving Christians think of Muslims, or an accurate depiction of many American Christians? Sounds like it could be either.