That was to be expected though because nerds talk. And they especially talk chicks. Especially especially hot videogame chicks.

But there is no hero worship like tattooed hero worship. Behold, the homage to Samus Aran and the worshipers of her Metroid adventures.

Take a good look. Hey hey now! Take your hand from down there!

This videogame system you see plays ‘Nintendo,’ ‘Super Nintendo’ and ‘Genesis’ games. It’s called the ‘Your New Girlfriend And Future Wifey System’…

…Don’t you wish. It’s actually called the ‘Retron 3′ and it is completely compatible with your old tapes (why did we call them ‘tapes’ if they never actually had tape in them?) from all three systems.

If you were an enterprising young fellow, you would have already discovered the world of emulation and figured out a way to plug your old controller into a USB connector. That way you could nerd out to ‘Super Mario Bros’ on your PC.

But if you simply must have the old experience with your old tapes then grab this beast of a retro-worshipping oddity and enjoy yourself.

And if you must blow on your games…make sure you use protection.

As shown in this stock image, this little girl in braces is absolutely destroying her senile grandfather in a game of Battletoads. It’s elder abuse, but he’ll completely forget about it in 15 minutes.

What’s to be said that hasn’t already been covered across gaming sites across the globe? People play video games, but for some, casual is just a style. Not overcommitting, not spending every waking hour trying to progress — just playing for pure enjoyment.

Now, whether you’re a casual or hardcore gamer, it’s always for the love of the game. We’ve got a nice little infographic that wraps up some cool statistics about gaming in households.

Source: One More Level Flash Games

This week, Marvel Legends continues with another world renowned Marvel character. These articles will focus solely on the heroes of the Marvel universe and not the villains (another series ?) but sometimes there are characters who walk the fine line between the two. This week’s character is possibly the most famous for facing both villain and heroes on a weekly basis but when the dust really settles, this guy is a hero by heart.

The Hulk was created by Stan Lee as a combination between Doctor Jeckyll/Mr. Hyde and Frankenstein. At his birth, in “The Incredible Hulk #1″ back in ’62, Hulk was depicted as a grey monster and not the famous green colour he’s known for. Bruce Banner was a mild mannered genius scientist working on a Gamma Bomb for the U.S. government when a test went horribly wrong. Upon retrieving a young man named Rick Jones, who had accidentally wandered into their test site; Russian spy, Igor Starsky detonated the test in an attempt to kill Banner and put a halt to the project. Bruce managed to push Rick out of the way but suffered the full force of the bomb. He survived seemingly without a scratch but the gamma radiation caused Banner to turn into a monster known as “The Hulk” when the sun went down. The transformation was later changed to being caused by anger or stress.

Murder in the Family

Bruce came from a broken home to say the least. His father, Brian, had killed his mother when he was a child and constantly abused him throughout his childhood. Years later, Brian was released from the mental institute and vowed he was a changed man. Bruce reluctantly allowed his father to live with him but while visiting his mother’s grave one night, Brian attacked him. The fight didn’t last long and ended in Bruce kicking his father into, in an ironic twist, his dead wife’s tombstone. The impact cracked his skull, killing him. The rain had washed away any footprints so the police concluded it as a random mugging gone wrong. Bruce surpressed the memory and moved on with his life.

The Divide

Bruce spent the most of his early life as the Hulk trying to find a cure for the transformations that plagued his life. Doctor Leonard Samson eventually captured the Hulk and used him to test a theory he was working on. He used a machine to drain the Hulk of all his radiation and, as a result, physically and mentally split the Hulk from Bruce. The Hulk, now under no sort of restrain from Bruce’s human side, began rampaging through the city. During this time, Bruce lead a military group called The New Hulkbusters, dedicated to tracking down and destroying the Hulk but when he realized the only way to reign in the monster was to merge with it again, he did so willingly. The re-integration fractured Banner’s mind and the fusion resulted in a new street smart form of the grey Hulk called, “Mr. Fixit”. Bruce travelled to Las Vegas and began working as a “legbreaker” thug for organized crime for years, trying to convince people his grey skin was a race attribute in an attempt to blend in with society, albeit a criminal. Bruce’s mind began to give and the three personalities battling inside of him finally faced each other to see who would reign victorious: Bruce Banner, the Hulk, or Mr. Fixit. In doing so, Banner finally faced the memories of his abusive past and the murder of his parents and came to terms with it all and found peace. The result was a new Hulk with the body of the original Hulk and the intelligence of Dr. Banner, later nicknamed, “The Professor”.

Pantheon

The newly tamed “Professor” was soon invited to join a superhero group called, “The Pantheon” led by a man named Agamemnon. This marked the first time Hulk really joined a group and stuck with it. He had joined the Avengers and other such groups before but never for much more then a few issues. Bruce stayed with the group for a while until Agamemnon betrayed them to an alien race called, “The Troyjans”. During his time with the group, Bruce faced a number of new enemies and ventured far beyond the the limits of Earth with his team through various missions. It was also during this time that he would travel in time and face his future self; Meastro.

Onslaught

When an incredible evil force called, “Onslaught” was created from the minds of Magneto and Professor Xavier, many heroes tried to stop the new foe to no avail. During a long battle with Onslaught, Bruce asked Jean Gray to remove any sort of resistance to the Hulk in his mind so he could fight with his full strength. The result was another split of the mind for Banner. He defeated Onslaught but lost the anger and rage of the Hulk in a dimensional warp created by Onslaught’s demise. What was left was a hollow, emotionless Hulk. This Hulk ended up joining Apocalypse in his attempt to take over the world; becoming War, one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse for a short time until he hurt, longtime friend, Rick Jones and his human emotions emerged to break Apocalyps’s control over him.

The Death of Betty

When Bruce discovered Betty had suddenly died of radiation poisoning, he feared it was from her constant exposure to him and immediately blamed himself and fell into a fit of depression before discovering that Abomination had actually injected her with some of his blood, which killed her. Bruce tracked down The Abomination and a very one-sided fight ensued. The Hulk’s anger grew to unseen levels and, with it, his strength. It wasn’t long before he had brutally beat him to an inch of his life.

Planet Hulk/World War Hulk

The most recent and largest event in the Hulk’s life was the “Planet Hulk” and “World War Hulk” series. While living as a hermit off the grid in Alaska, Bruce is dscovered by Nick Fury of S.H.I.E.L.D. and asked to help them fight a powerful foe out in space called, “Godseye”. The Hulk agrees and is launched up to a spacestation from Earth to face Godseye, which ends up being a creation of S.H.I.E.L.D. Hulk defeats the foe and is about to return to Earth in the ship that brought him there when he realizes he was tricked. A group of powerful heroes called, “The Illuminati” made a controversial plan to set the ship’s autopilot to bring Hulk to a distant planet with no intelligent life in an effort to rid the Earth of him. Unfortunately, the ship is knocked off course and the Hulk lands on a barbaric planet called, “Sakaar” where he is inslaved as a gladiator in an arena. The Hulk fights his way to victory and ends up rising up and becoming the new king of Sakaar with his queen. His queen becomes pregnant and the Hulk is finally living a peaceful life when the ship that brought him to the planet explodes, killing his wife and unborn child. The Hulk’s rage skyrockets as he gathers a group of loyal warriors and returns to Earth seeking revenge. Hulk makes New York his battleground as he defeats the likes of Iron man, Doctor Strange, and Mister Fantastic to name a few. Eventually, Tony Stark calls upon the combined power of various satellites to put an end to the Hulk. They imprison him three miles under the Mojave Desert in a prison.

After the defeat of the Hulk, Abomination is found dead in his homeland of Russia and a team goes to investigate, only to find that Hulk is the only one capable of killing the beast in such a way. A new Red Hulk soon emerges as a villain and easily defeats all heroes that desperately try to defeat him until the battle grows to such heights that Hulk’s prison is damaged and he is released. The two Hulks have battled twice since Bruce’s release; one a loss for the hero, the other a victory. The identity of Red Hulk is still yet to be revealed.

He is the weapon of peace against the despair of war.

He is the essence of sanity in the madness of violence.

He is harbinger of order carving his will in the flesh of his alien enemies.

He is the badassiest badasser to badass his way through badassery to define badassiestness.

Through a combination of skilled programming, smart storywriting and Steve Downes’ excellent vocal execution an ordinary bionic future-soldier became one of the most iconic videogame characters of all time.

Throughout the life of Master Chief there have been other characters and soldiers and aliens and villains and other entities from other videogames that didn’t matter nearly as much.

Why?

Because Master Chief could probably shoot their balls off at a thousand parsecs. That’s why.

On the one hand, awesome. I now know what a Koopa Paratroopa might look like in real life. On the other hand, I’m not super comfortable with taxidermy as art. I think it’s bad enough to be all like, “I’m a human and I can kill a bear, stuff it, mount it in my living room, and make it look ferocious 24/7.” Adding a clown nose and wig to that bear seems just a tad more disrespectful. On the other hand, now I know what a Koopa Paratroopa might look like in real life? So… awesome?!? [TDWGeek]

Based on The Legend of Zelda: A Link To The Past for SNES, this video shows what would happen if Link traded a sword and shield for the latest technological wonder from Aperture Science. I’m making a note here – “huge success.” Seems like you can do a lot of damage with a Portal gun in Hyrule, particularly if you can think of clever uses for chickens. Just watch out though, Link. While Gannon is a monstrous menace, he doesn’t get into your head quite like GLaDOS can. Remember, if she wants to trade you cake for the Triforce, no matter how delicious it sounds, it’s not a wise move.